You raise a great problem for me because, you are obviously a very sincere person and are searching for answers. But I believe that the truth is better than lies.
I am going to start from where you are now and work back to your youth.
You have suffered spiritually and physically with great disappointments.
You were and still are hoping to make an impact on the world. This is quite right.
But, if I may say, you are going about it the wrong way.
Your higher self knows your life plan and will guide you down that road, no matter what you, personally, want to do.
The personal desire to do something comes from ego (I don’t want that to sound offensive). Ego is just the personal desire to do something.
This is all very well if you decide what clothes to wear or what supermarket you do your shopping in etc., but it gets in the way when it comes to the spiritual path.
If ever you say, “I want to do this or I want to do that”, with regard to your spiritual life, you can be sure you are doing something wrong because your ego part does not have the wisdom to take care of that. The ego is there to take care of everyday business.
It is better to say, “Thy will, not mine, be done”.
Then, through quiet meditation, patience and by letting go of all desire to achieve anything, your higher self will enter your life and will guide you.
It may be that you will write stuff or teach. Equally, you might have another destiny. But let your higher self decide.
You can only let higher self in when you reduce ego and let it do its job which is just to help you with daily events.
All the time you want to do this or you want to do that, it is the ego part of you talking. Higher self waits patiently for ego to quieten down before it can make its appearance.
Now, I am going to hit you with one more disappointment.
The contact you had with the Great White Brotherhood was not with them at all – I checked.
You were being played with by little harmless nature spirits that live in the etheric realms and play with people’s thoughts.
So, I am sorry to give you this blow but, if you are angry or offended, that is ego kicking in and will not help.
These little beings stopped contacting you when they got bored and they moved on to play with other people’s thoughts.
But the good news is that the real Great White Brotherhood are there and, if it is your destiny, they will contact you when you are ready.
You are still young.
The Great White Brotherhood do not, from my experience, start to work with people until they are about 50 years old, so you still have time to progress. The Great White Brotherhood prefer to work with complete, mature people.
What I mean by stating complete, mature people, are people who have all 7 auras intact with them, which typically happens every 7 years from birth, so a complete human on earth will happen on or around their 49th birthday.
This is only in a general sense because depending on one’s personality, they may not utilize all 7 auras, even if they are connected to them all and could still be an immature person late in life.
Conversely, people who are more spiritually advanced can gain access to all of their auras sooner than every 7 years through prayer, meditation and service to God, which with help to fill their auras with God’s power and potentially quicken their aura connections.
So, my advice to you is to put the past behind you and settle down to quiet meditation and see how your life unfolds.
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