Spiritual Growth Efforts

Q: On pp 112 of The Stairway to Freedom, spiritual seekers who are married are admonished to not try to change their spouses who may be less spiritually developed, but should instead stay humble about their spirituality while showing them love. I find this to be wise.

However, what if a spouse is persistent about changing YOU to be more like them, and is inadvertently trying to disrupt (dumb down) your spiritual growth efforts? How can/ should a loving spiritual seeker handle this situation (besides the obvious loving prayers and wishes, that is)? I consider this to be a dilemma because indeed, changing a spouse by divorce or pressure is not an option, at least for me (and divorce often hurts the lovely innocent children of that marriage). Should one, for the sake of peace in a marriage, accept to put their spiritual development on hold?

A: There are many people who are faced with this situation going in either direction.
We have given some advice to those who consider themselves advanced spiritually and are married to someone whom they consider to be less advanced than they.
Now, when we dictated the first book, “Stairway to Freedom”, we did not elaborate very much.  We now hope, in view of the information more recently disseminated that people can see that levels of spirituality are endless and the degree of light shining from any person incarnate who considers himself spiritually advanced compared to the blazing light of God itself is minimal.

What we are trying to say is that, if one imagines spirituality as an endlessly tall building, anyone incarnate would be at about the first brick level of the foundation.
Therefore, anyone who considers himself/herself to be more spiritually advanced than his spouse, family or friends is largely fooling himself and if he devotes his time and efforts to being kind and understanding of his fellows instead of thrusting spirituality down their throats, will be progressing much quicker towards the light of God.

The same applies in the opposite direction.
Neither person is very spiritually advanced and so, for the length of this short incarnation compared to all eternity, it is not worth battling who is the most spiritually advanced when there is barely an iota of difference between the two.

Peace and love is the key to a happy life and spiritual snobbery can be released for the duration of one’s incarnation.
So don’t worry about who is the most spiritually advanced.
Worry about how much love you can show.


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